It's Not up to You
by Hideous-Skirt-Convention
Summary: TITANIC AU. Elizabeth Adams is a well-to-do woman trapped in a failing marriage and a monotonous existence. What happens when she meets a poor but worldly writer on the Titanic's maiden voyage?
1. Chapter 1

Notes-

Madam Secretary / Titanic cross-over. All rights belong to the original creators.

I have messed about with the ages of the characters for this story. Elizabeth and Henry are in their mid 30s. Stevie is 13, Allison is 8 and Jason is 4.

In this story, Elizabeth is married to Stephen who is based on Cal from Titanic 1997.

Nadine is a Nanny/ Ladies Maid

Matt (the security guy) is their Butler/ Valet

I will try to keep this story as historically accurate as possible but I am no expert. If you see anything out of place let me know! I am fascinated by Edwardian culture and am learning as I write so please be kind!

I have no Beta reader so I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors!

This is my first fan fiction so please read and review! Enjoy!

* * *

 **Southampton, 10th April 1912**

As soon as she stepped from the car, it was an assault on her senses. Crowds of people had places to be. Horns blared. People shouted. The scent of smoke mixed with ocean air as it billowed from four immense funnels that towered over the port. Having spent the past four hours confined inside a closed car, it was a relief to feel the cool sea breeze brushing against her cheeks.

Elizabeth's focus was drawn by the cars side step creaking under the weight of feet. She plastered a huge grin on her face as she watched her children scramble forwards. Stephanie emerged first, impatient to escape the confines of the small vehicle. She held one hand on her straw boating hat and used the other to usher her siblings from the car.

As soon as his little feet hit the ground Jason was rushing off, but he was not quite fast enough to avoid capture.

"Woah, woah, woah! Where do you think you're going young man?" Elizabeth scolded gently as she scooped him up.

It was Jason's first time seeing a steam ship and he had been driving his sisters up the wall with his incessant boat-based chatter. Now they had reached the port, he could hardly contain his excitement.

"Look mummy the ship!" he exclaimed, wriggling in her grasp.

"I know, I know. Look how big it is!" she enthused bouncing with him from side to side.

"I don't see what all the fuss is about. It doesn't look any bigger than the Mauretania." Stevie grumbled

"You can be blasé about some things, Stephanie, but not about Titanic." She turned to face her father. "It's over a hundred feet longer than Mauretania, and far more luxurious. It has squash courts, a Parisian cafe... even Turkish baths." He listed off.

She looked to her mother who gave her a mock serious face before they both burst into giggles.

"I must say Elizabeth, your daughter is far too difficult to impress" Stephen said before offering his hand to Nadine as she stepped from the car.

"So" Nadine says as she takes in the sight before her. "This is the ship they say is unsinkable"

"It is unsinkable. God himself couldn't sink this ship." Stephen gushed.

"Are you applying for a job in the White Star line press department?" Elizabeth teased. "I'm sure they'd be glad to have you" she chuckled as she hoisted Jason higher on her hip.

Nadine reached for him "here let me take him".

A porter approached them. "Sir, you'll have to check your baggage through the main terminal, round that way" he gestures to the left.

Stephen pulled out his wallet before stuffing five pounds into the porter's hand. The man's expression turned to one of shock. "I'll trust you to do that my friend". Stephen glanced nonchalantly at Matt. "Talk to my man".

"Yes Sir. Of course Sir"

Elizabeth suddenly finds the laces on her boots fascinating. Stephen never tires of flashing his wallet.  
"Here, Alison, Stevie. Help me with our bags please" she requests as she begins lifting her and the children's lighter travelling bags from the car's roof.

Stephen gives her a disapproving look.

"What?" She asks.

"We have people to do that" he chastises.

This riles her. "Well, Nadine has her hands full with Jason and you've sent Matt to deal with the cases so unless you're planning on leaving your hand luggage behind, this is what I'm doing." She gives him a pointed look before turning to hand a small case to Stevie. "Here baby".

"Well" he says testily, "I do believe that we only brought two servants at your insistence"

It had taken a lot of work to convince Stephen to only bring along Matt and Nadine. He thought it shameful to have his butler doubling as his valet. He didn't want a repeat of the last time they travelled with limited help. Rumours had started that they were having financial troubles and had subsequently let some of the servants go.

Stephen thought her yearning for self-sufficiency infantile and insisted she get used to relying on servants, if not for her own sake then for his. But no matter how hard she tried to become accustomed to it, she couldn't shake the feelings of embarrassment every time she made a request for help.

Only Nadine and Matt were with them today but that did not mean she had won their disagreement. Daisy was supposed to accompany them but had fallen sick. She had been left at the townhouse with orders to eat lots of soup and rest up.

"Will has people of his own. We can manage for seven days without Matt and Daisy." She glanced at him. "Don't worry, I'm sure your reputation will still be intact when we get there."

Stephen sighed and took his briefcase from her hand. He looked at his pocket watch. "We'd better hurry. This way, ladies." And marched off ahead.

Elizabeth look skywards in exasperation before distributing the last few cases that held items too delicate for the baggage claim between herself and Stephanie.

She glanced at the crowd of hurrying passengers and well-wishers that they would have to pass through on their way to the first class gangway. "Alison baby, take Nadine's hand please" she called.

Together they wound their way through vehicles and handcarts, and into the throng. They passed a line of steerage passengers being subjected to a health check. Health officers ran combs through their hair in search of lice.

"Honestly Elizabeth. If you hadn't spent so long mucking around in the stables this morning we could have gone through the terminal instead of running along the dock like some squalid immigrant family" Stephen groused.

Elizabeth bristled at her husband's comments. Had they not been in such a public space she would have cut him down to size. Instead, she greets his comments with silence and allows Stevie to walk ahead of her, putting physical distance between herself and him.

Their assent up the ramp brings a sudden peace as they break from the crowd and Elizabeth allows herself to take a deep breath. The black hull of the Titanic looms ominously above them and she enters the doors to the deck with a sense of unease.

It takes a moment for her eyes to transition from daylight to the artificial lighting of the lower deck. They are greeted by two men dressed in formal attire and another porter who relieves both her and Stephanie of their cumbersome bags before directing them to the central stairwell. Together, they clamber onto the lift. The decorative wooden panelling presses into Elizabeth's back and she watches as the ornate metal shutter separates them from the cold, featureless corridors of the lower deck.


	2. Chapter 2

Cherbourg, France, 10th April 1912

His mind was screaming at him to get up and flee but one thing he never wanted to be was a coward. Instead he lay on his bed and practiced being a poster boy for stoicism.

He had been at the vineyard for almost a year and the past few weeks found him increasingly anxious for change. Rationally he knew this was no different from all the other times he had left to go somewhere new. An opportunity had presented itself and he took it. But as he lay on his back, staring up at the bunk above him he knew everything was different.

There was a reason he had avoided returning to America thus far and why he thought it a good idea to buy the ticket was lost on him in this moment.

Focusing on the quiet chatter of the rooms other occupants had so far helped to drown out the doubt in his mind. He couldn't understand much of what they were saying. Through hand gestures and Henry's limited Dutch they had ascertained each other's names and that they had boarded at Southampton.

His ticket put him in the bow of the ship. Room E.44. During his time on the move, he had spent many nights in lodgings that left much to be desired. His room on the Titanic was a modest space but luxurious in comparison to his previous dwellings. More often than not, ocean liners transporting third class passengers did not think it necessary to impress them with the ship's amenities. Most third class passengers take what they can and most liners aren't afraid to exploit that.

He should be grateful that White Star Line had put thought into making the room comfortable but right now, the lack of windows and the thin walls doing little to quiet the ruckus outside only made him feel claustrophobic.

A sharp rapping on the door cut through the noise. He welcomed the distraction. A stout looking man walked into the room, bag slung over his shoulder. Henry stood in greeting and the man grasped his hand firmly in his.

"José Campos" his new roommate introduced himself.

"Henry McCord" he replied. They sat down opposite each other.

"You're American?" José asked in a gruff voice.

"Yeah" he said, looking at their knees almost pressed against one another in the small space between bunks. "I take it you are too".

"New York" he said. "You headed home?" The man asked. That was a loaded question.

"You could say that." He rubbed his forehead.

"Whoa, don't sound too enthusiastic" José said.

Henry looked apologetically at the man "This was a last minute decision. I think I'm still processing it."

"Tell me about it. I've been planning this for months and I'm still processing it. I know it's a grand ship and all but whenever I think about the twenty euros I no longer own a little bit of me dies inside."

"You're right about that". He agreed with José, though the nausea he felt at the ticket in his hand had little to do with its price.

"How last minute was this decision anyway?" José asked.

He thought back to earlier today as held the ticket in his hand for the first time. He hoped John was all right. He felt bad abandoning him but this was important. "Let's just say I didn't know I would be boarding a ship this morning".

"Why? You running away from something?" José asked.

He smirked "Running towards more like". His leg began to bounce restlessly. "It's been fifteen years since I was last in the States".

"Jeez" he said. José's eyes were drawn to the movement across from him. "Don't worry. In twenty minutes they'll drop the moors. Then there's no turning back."

"Humph". He agreed but José's words did little to ease his mind. "What about you?" he asked. "Are you travelling alone?"

"I'm with my friend Jane" he said, leaning forward. "You should meet her. She'd appreciate your disregard for forward planning."

Henry's lips twitched at that. He looked at the papers he still held in his hands. There was a stamped card certifying he had passed the required standards of health and hygiene to enter the United States. The health check was to be expected with traveling third-class but it was humiliating none the less. To have someone inspect you as if you were contaminated was a degrading experience. One which he doubted the passengers upstairs were subjected to.

The other much larger paper was his ticket. He turned it over in his hand. "I sign this knowing that I am accountable for myself and that White Star Line is not responsible for my safety". Well that's macabre. He turned and placed the documents in the bag beside him.

Doing so felt like something final and he was beginning to feel short of breath. He didn't know if it was the lack of oxygen in the small room or his nerves. Either way he was growing desperate.

As his luck would have it, José had impeccable timing. "What do you say we head out onto the deck?"

* * *

The stillness of his room had agitated him but that was nothing compared to how he felt out in the halls of E deck. His senses were battered from every side as he followed José closely down the corridor. The man walked with a purpose. He couldn't understand how he wasn't distracted by the madness going on around him.

They navigated the crowds with difficulty. At one point, they pressed themselves against the wall to allow a young woman to pass them. She was lugging a case in front of her that looked twice her size. He would have stopped to help but José marched ahead. He didn't want to lose him so he sufficed with a guiltily look over his shoulder as they continued on their way.

The walls were lined with open doors and each room they passed gave him a glimpse into the lives of the other passengers. Children were laughing and crying. People argued over space in a multitude of languages. Others kept to themselves, reading, storing their luggage, playing card games. He watched as one man struggled to haul himself onto the top bunk. Thank goodness that Emil and William had had left them the lower beds.

He was so distracted that he almost crashed into José as he came to an abrupt stop. They stood outside a room occupied by six women. José drew their attention by knocking against the open door. Henry shifted uncomfortably under their scrutiny as they all turned to look at them. He clutched his bag tighter to his side.

One woman jumped up to greet them. She was sliding pins into her straw hat as she made her way towards the door. It took a moment for her to notice him and when she did, she paused with her two hands resting on her head. She looked at him questioningly.

"This is Henry" José slapped him on the back. "I know he's not much to look at but I've Invited him to tag along with us anyway."

The woman smacked José in the shoulder before extending a hand to him. "Jane" she introduced herself. "Ignore him. Mr Toad here is just jealous".

Henry chuckled. She was right, in his flat cap and tweed jacket José did resemble the portly amphibian.

"You're the one to talk, Ratty" José said. "Besides, I'd never have the means to be so self-important" He raised a hand to his chest in mock outrage.

Henry felt the need to join in, if only to defend himself from their teasing. "Oh, now he's modest" he said.

Jane smirked at him as José guided her out of the way of a woman leaving their room.

"I knew you'd like him". José said.

"So long as he stays on my side I think we'll get along just fine". Her easy acceptance of him gave him the freedom to jibe with them.

"I don't think that should be a problem" he said.

"As much as I love where this conversation is going" José said. "We should head up to the deck if you still want to wave us off".

He felt a pang in his gut. He had almost forgotten where he was before José had reminded him. He allowed them to lead the way. If he wasn't going to abandon ship he at least wanted to get out of this corridor.

* * *

Henry's hopes of escaping the crowd were crushed as it seemed half the ship had preceded them onto the deck. Nevertheless it was still a relief to be out in the open air.

José led them forwards until they were pressed against the railings, just in time to watch as the two tenders made their way back to port. There was no turning back now… Unless he threw himself overboard and swam to shore. It looked like a long way down.

He knew he would feel better once the ship began its journey but for now he concentrated on sucking in deep breaths. He closed his eyes and listened to the waves as they crashed against the hull. The chill was biting and the sky threatened rain but that did not matter. Henry just pulled his jacket closer to his chest and allowed himself to absorb the calming atmosphere.

He was startled by the screaming of the ships horns announcing their departure. He gripped the railing tightly and held his breath.

Cheers erupted along the deck as people waved and shouted their goodbyes towards the port. The ship jolted as the propellers kicked into motion and then they were on their way. He didn't allow his vice-like grip to loosen until the noise settled down.

They stood in silence together for a while longer, taking in their surroundings. Eventually the crowds started to thin and they made their way to one of the benches lining the wall of the ship.

He watched Jane pull a box of cigarettes out her bag. She reached across José to offer one to him. He waved his hand.

"Do you think you should be doing that out here?" José asked.

"Oh, please. I'm not embarrassing you am I?" she asked as she popped one between her lips.

"We're right below the first class promenade. Do you want to get us kicked off before we've even left the harbour? José said. Henry had conflicting feelings about that.

Her words were muffled by the white stick in her mouth. "Are you worried someone might die of shock? She asked.

He was amused by their antics. They bickered like an old married couple. As she lit her cigarette he asked how long they had known each other.

She dramatically blew out a puff of smoke. "Twelve long, long years."

"Thirteen" José corrected.

"He tried to seduce me" she pointed her cigarette at José. "I shut that down quickly".

"No I didn't" said José.

She raised her eyebrows at him before breaking out in laughter. "Anyway". She tapped the ash from her cigarette. "We got talking. Realised we had a lot in common. We've kept in touch ever since."

"So you're not a couple?"

"No—"

"Definitely not—"They stumbled over each other.

"What about you mystery man?" Jane asked. "Do you have anyone special waiting for you across the pond?"

He hesitated. "My lifestyle doesn't allow for romance."

"You're not a train robber or something are you?" she asked.

He laughed. She couldn't be further from the truth. "I travel". Henry said. "For the last few years I've been living in Europe. I work odd jobs to stay afloat while I move place to place."

"Why?" she asked. "I can't imagine living like that". She took another puff from her cigarette. "Don't you feel like you're missing out living such a solitary existence?"

"You get right to the punch don't you?" he said.

"It's my speciality".

"I don't want to settle down just yet" he said. "There's too much to see and experience before I do"

"I'm pretty sure you can experience life in one location". José said.

"I don't doubt that, It's just not for me. Besides. I'm writing a book." Jane shot him a questioning look. "It's about the impact of the European Wars of Religion on modern church practices. Most museums don't want to let a vagabond like me go scavenging around in their archives" he joked. "I mainly rely on the churches themselves for my research. Sort of requires me to move around."

"I don't do all that religious stuff". José said gruffly. "Being at the mercy of larger forces is not my happy place. I just don't see any logic in it"

"Where you see something illogical someone else sees something entirely rational. No matter what that something might be" he reasoned.

There was a loud chime from inside the ship signalling that dinner was ready to be served.

"Saved by the bell" José said.

"Let's stay out a while longer" Jane suggested. "I want to enjoy the quite before we go back into that madhouse."

He couldn't agree more. He was enjoying the light conversation and listening to Jane and José rib one another was helping to distract him from his lingering nerves.

Since religion appeared to be a sore subject for José, he inquired as to their plans on arriving in America.

They were going to visit New York where José lived before moving on to Toledo to visit Jane's sister. Jane had been living in France for the past twelve years, working on a farm owned by relatives.

It was irrational but he felt a twinge of jealousy at their close relationship. He chose to live this way but as he watched them together, what Jane said earlier was starting to eat at him. Knowing they always had somewhere to go must be comforting.

He knew he was charismatic and easily made friends. He had acquaintances all over the world. But that's what they were. Acquaintances. The few solid friendships he had he left behind as he ran off on his next adventure. He thought of John and not for the first time since boarding the ship felt guilty about leaving him by himself.

He looked around him. There were only a few stragglers left behind on the deck as the last of the crowds had made their way inside for dinner. It was peaceful and for the first time he felt himself starting to relax.

Then out of the corner of his eye he spotted her. She stood gazing out to sea, calm and relaxed, if not exactly happy.

It wasn't often an upper class lady was seen as anything but composed yet this woman rested casually, hat in hand against the railing of B deck's promenade.

From her fashionable clothes and elaborate up-do, it was clear someone had spent a good deal of time putting her together. He almost felt sorry for the person who had as she did little to stop the wind undoing all their hard work.

The woman was dressed in a well-tailored walking suit but the coat hung open at her sides, swaying about her ankles in the breeze. Having removed her hat, loose strands of hair escaped from their hold to dance freely around her face. It was a tranquil scene. She reminded him of a Pre-Raphaelite painting.

She must have felt him staring because she turned to look at him. Their eyes locked only for a second but it was enough to leave Henry feeling empty when she looked away.

He must have made her uncomfortable and was embarrassed to have been caught staring but before he knew it her eyes flickered back to meet his. She had a long nose and thin lips which parted slightly as she took him in. Her eyes were startlingly blue as they assessed him. He wondered if she was curious about him. He was certainly curious about her.

The waving of Jane's hand stole him from the moment.

"Earth to Henry" she said, laughing mirthlessly. "Don't even think about it. There'd sooner be pigs flying than a lady like that giving you the time of day!"

It took a moment to realise she was talking to him and a moment longer to understand what she was implying. "Excuse me" he said in faux indignation. "A minute ago you were telling me I needed to find someone to settle down with. Now I can't even look at a woman without you mocking me! There's only so much cognitive dissonance I can handle."

They laughed but Henry felt a pang in his stomach. He didn't know what he was thinking, of course they were right but surely there was no harm in looking. Jane and José returned to their conversation and he took the opportunity to glance back at his ogling partner. She had her back to him.

A man approached her. He was dressed in a brown suit and waist coat not too dissimilar to his own but even from this distance Henry could tell the man's had cost a hell of a lot more.

The man began to speak. He couldn't hear what he was saying but the woman grew tenser with each word… He grew tense with her.

He watched her twist her body away from him but the man followed her movement, placing himself against the railing and back in her line of sight. Henry saw the bothered look on her face. What was this guy's problem? He felt the sudden urge to go to her defence. He would have to scale the wall to climb onto the deck. He could do it if he tried. He was being ridiculous. They didn't know each other and from what he gathered it was little more than a disagreement.

He took it back... The woman snapped at her counterpart, exchanging harsh words before throwing her hands up in front of her. Henry expected to hear raised voices but the man stepped forward, placing his hands on her arms in an attempt to mollify her. That rubbed Henry the wrong way. It seemed patronising. He was either oblivious to her frustration or he didn't care what she had to say.

She shrugged him off and glanced past him, checking they weren't causing a scene. She wore a pinched expression and Henry felt something in his stomach start to hurt.

Over the years, he had come to realise that judging people based on first impressions was a pointless feat but he was willing to make an exception here. It was a reasonable assumption that this man had been discourteous in some way. She had looked so peaceful prior to his arrival. Now her body was tight with tension.

The man kept talking and she began to fidget, tucking her blouse further into her skirt. He continued to talk and she continued to listen. She gave a tight nod in response to his words as if resigning herself to whatever was being said.

Gradually, her posture relaxed.

The man approached her and patted down her wayward strands of hair as though they needed fixing. He leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. She stayed there, pressed to his chest.

Henry felt uncomfortable. Like he was intruding on a private moment… Which he was. He watched as she hesitantly reached up to squeeze the arm that was holding her and he was filled with a sense of displeasure. He had no right to feel that way and no right to pry. He turned away and focused instead on picking imaginary lint off of his trousers. It was a relief when José stood up and announced his desire for food.

Was he hungry? He didn't know what he was feeling but he knew he wanted to leave. There were too many thoughts flying around his head, most of them about the woman on the promenade.

He took one last glance in her direction before they left but the couple had gone. He wondered if he would see her again. He hoped so.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys. Sorry for the slow update. I was away this week and finding time to write has been tricky! Hopefully I will be able to post the next chapter much sooner.

Again, apologies for any grammatical errors as I don't have a beta reader!


	3. Chapter 3

**Cherbourg, France, 10th April 1912**

Things had been strained between them lately. Ever since Stephen began work on the new estate they rarely saw each other, and when they did it often ended in an altercation.

He had been shutting her out. She was never officially 'in' but he usually consulted her before making any business decisions.

Her role in the suffrage movement was bad publicity for him and a cause for concern with investors. It wasn't respectable and there were even rumours circulating that she was the driving force behind their recent success. She may have been once but now she couldn't get a look in. Stephen was on a mission to prove to any potential investors that he was firmly in control, even if that meant putting undue pressure on himself and his family. God forbid his wife had any input in the family business.

She knew he felt bad. He wasn't always supportive of her politics but he didn't want to stifle her. She could see he was struggling to hold it together without her help but he remained stubborn. It was ridiculous. He was running the business in fear of scandal and in his determination to prove he wasn't submissive to her, he was putting his relationship with his family in jeopardy. The children had hardly seen him in months and they were suffering for it.

They had started acting out more often, especially Stevie. They perceived their fathers absence as a lack of interest and she could tell it was wearing them down. When Stevie got into a fight with a girl from school it had been the breaking point. She had taken the children to stay at the country house. Not a week later, Stephen had shown up at the door with a big apology and tickets for the Titanic. He recognised he was causing a rift with the kids and wanted to make it up to them. To her.

She was holding on to hope that this trip could turn things around. That was until earlier when he announced their quiet evening meal would instead be spent hobnobbing with potential investors. With the people she spent most of her time trying to avoid and who spent most of their time trying to avoid her. She was disappointed but understood that this was a great opportunity for him to make an impression on some very influential people. It might have been okay, had she not known that Julius Burton would be joining them.

Burton was a very conservative man with very deep pockets and a good relationship with him could seriously turn things around for Stephen. The only problem was that she and Burton had a history, and it wasn't a pleasant one.

It began last year when he publically criticised an article she had written supporting the transport workers in their strike. It wasn't just that he disagreed with her politics but that she had the audacity to share her opinions in the first place. If she remembered correctly her thoughts were 'unbefitting of a lady' and 'above her station as someone who married into wealth'. She thought it awfully bold of him to assume there was a correlation between wealth and aptitude. He should take a look at himself if he needed an example.

Ever since then they had been engaged in a battle of wills fought via the medium of print journalism. They had not seen each other face to face since their unspoken feud started and Stephen had requested that for his sake she "tone her opinions down" so as to not cause a fuss. There wasn't much more she could do to widen the divide between herself and Burton. Stephen would just have to take whatever happened on the chin. She was sure his charm could pull him out of any stick situations.

She had been lucky enough growing up that her parents were progressive people. They had taught her to always speak her mind and as grateful as she was for that, her forthright attitude often caused her more trouble than it was worth. This was one of those times. Stephen's big moment hung on her ability to hold her tongue and make polite conversation with Julius Burton. The Universe must be conspiring against her.

She would try her hardest to be civil, but if he provoked her she wouldn't be held accountable for what came out of her mouth.

She could have begged off out of spite but she knew Stephen was right. The potential of an investment from one of these men could be huge. Besides, she didn't want to put any more strain on their relationship, if only for the children's sake.

She would have been less angry with him had it not been tonight he had chosen to abandon them. She and Stephen had promised to take the children out onto the deck before bedtime and they were overjoyed to be spending time with their father. When he told her he was begging off to mingle with money men, the disappointment had formed a lump in her throat. The children would be so upset.

She hoped this was just a one off and that Stephen would make it up to them tomorrow. She hoped he was as committed to fixing things as he had promised. She wasn't looking forwards to telling the children that their farther was letting them down again. For now she just sunk further into the duvet and traced the strapwork on the ceiling.

That was how Nadine found her, flopped backwards on the bed, stocking clad legs dangling off the end.

"Ma'am, you need to leave for dinner in forty-five minutes"

"Humph" Elizabeth said, still staring at the celling. She pushed herself up on her elbows to glance at the clock and was surprised to see that she had been lying there for almost an hour.

"The children are in their room" Nadine said as she began gathering up the clothes scattered on the floor.

After her run-in with Stephen she had made her excuses and returned to her room. She'd felt bothered. Her corset was digging into her back, her collar was tight against her throat, her clothes rubbed uncomfortably against her skin. At least she could rid herself of her physical discomfort.

Nadine stood next to her, holding her crumpled blouse and skirt.

"Thanks" she said apologetically.

"When you're annoyed by something, you take it out on your clothes."

"I'm not annoyed!" She said. She sounded annoyed. "We've been invited to join Julius Burton for dinner".

"Oh? I thought it was supposed to be just the two of you tonight". Nadine asked.

"It was." She sighed as she shuffled off the bed.. "Apparently he got talking to Mr Andrews—"

"The man who built the ship?" Nadine asked.

"Yes. According to him Mr Burton is now looking to invest in property. Of course Stephen jumped at the chance. I can't blame him". She dropped into the chair at the vanity table. "This is a great opportunity."

"Of course?"

She looked at Nadine in the mirror. "He's on his own. Our lawyers aren't on this ship with us and I'm not going to be privy to anything if they meet behind closed doors." She sighed. "I'm just worried he's going to be dealt a bad hand and he'll take it because he want's nothing more than to be a part of Burton's inner circle."

"So you want to talk him out of it?"

"No." She rubbed her forehead. "I guess I just resent that we've been put in this position. This trip was supposed to be a break from all of this. She laughed mirthlessly. "I mean, it's only the first night and I already have to prostrate myself in front Julius Burton! If you look at the list of things I didn't want to do on my holiday, socializing with that man is right at the bottom. In fact it's so far down they would have to make a new list just to fit him on."

Nadine tutted. Whether it was at Elizabeth's display of self-pity or the state of her hair was unknown. "If it was Mr Andrews who set this up, I imagine he will be joining you. Perhaps you'll learn a thing or two about the ship you can tell the children about tonight."

"Unless I've thrown myself overboard by then" Elizabeth said.

Nadine looked at her despairingly through the mirror.

"Don't give me that look!" she said. "You're not the one who has to spend the evening pretending their brain is made of bubbles and their most passionate hobby is needle point. I feel like I'm being muzzled!"

The roll of Nadine's eyes said she was being melodramatic. "Did anything positive happen with your afternoon?" she asked.

Elizabeth hummed in a sort of non-answer. She thought back to when she was standing alone on the promenade. She could have stayed there forever with the wind brushing against her cheeks.

Then she remembered that man. He was brooding, kind of rugged looking, certainly handsome. She wasn't an idiot. She could tell he was admiring her. She had to admit it felt nice to receive some positive attention, even if it came from a complete stranger.

As Nadine untangled her mess of hair she allowed her mind to wander. She was so taken aback by his gaze that she held tighter to the railing. She wondered how it would feel to be closer. To look directly into his eyes… what if his hand brushed her hair behind her ear?

She chastised herself. She shouldn't be thinking such thoughts. She straightened herself in her chair and hoped Nadine wasn't a mind reader. She didn't seem to be paying attention to anything other than digging the pins out of her hair.

His eyes were kind. He probably wouldn't treat her like Stephen. He would take her for a romantic dinner for two. He would talk to her and make her laugh. He wouldn't ask her to censor herself to impress investors and stockholders.

She wondered what his name was. He looked like a Peter, maybe a Timothy.

"Do you need me to stay tonight?" Nadine asked.

"What?" she said. "No- No, its fine… I can't pull you away from your plans." She looked at her mischievously. "You know the ones you won't tell me about".

"Honestly" Nadine scoffed. "It's nothing scandalous like you want to believe. I bumped into Glenn Altman earlier. We are going to tour the ship." She fussed with her hair, not meeting Elizabeth's eyes.

"Just the two of you I imagine"-

"Top knot or chignon? Nadine asked.

"Chignon and let's use the rat please. My poor scalp needs a break from the wire frame. That thing is vicious!"

She would drop it for now. Nadine was an intensely private person and she didn't like to push her. Elizabeth considered her a close friend and knew Nadine felt the same way, but she was always reluctant to share herself. Elizabeth had to respect that. Despite their close relationship it was always in the back of her mind that she might be exploiting her position as employer.

"I'll be prying you for information later you know." If looks could kill she'd be laying in a puddle. She smirked.

Nadine secured the rat before sweeping her hair over it and away from her face. Elizabeth watched as she expertly wound the ends of her hair into a chignon at the base of her neck before securing it with a decorative pin. She smiled in thanks.

"How were the kids today?" she asked as she stood, tucking her slip further into her draws.

"The troublesome two were practically bouncing off the walls with excitement." She handed her a corset.

Elizabeth smiled. "What about Stevie?" She asked as she fastened the hooks. "Is her life still over?"

"Apparently two months away is a sufficient amount of time for her friends to forget about her entirely. Any chances she had with Jareth Benning are gone forever." Nadine listed. "Oh… And she no longer believes in writing letters or sending telegrams."

"You know she got this flare for the dramatic from you" Elizabeth pointed an accusing finger at her.

They both smirked as Elizabeth turned and dutifully grabbed hold of the bed post. "Just wait until later" she said as Nadine began pulling the laces at her back. "I'm so sorry Stevie but something has come up and your father no longer has time to spend with us." Tug, Tug. "Yes I know that spending time with him is the only reason we didn't have to drag you kicking and screaming onto this boat." Tug. "And yes I know that you thought he wanted to spend time with us too but I'm afraid he's more interested in rubbing shoulders with Julius Burton." She had let go of the post to bring her hands into play and was jerked backwards as Nadine finished lacing her in.

Nadine paused in tying the bow at the base of her back and Elizabeth began to feel embarrassed at her outburst.

"Are you sure it's me she got it from?" Nadine asked.

She snorted. "Sorry"

"Don't be" she smiled reassuringly. "I know you're frustrated but the children will be fine." She sure hoped so. Nadine placed a small bustle in her hand. "You'll find a way to be heard."

"I know I will". She tied the pad around her waist. "I just don't trust myself to be polite."

Nadine cracked a smile at that. She lifted a petticoat off the bed and crouched before Elizabeth, holding it open so she could step into it. Elizabeth would often complain that she felt babied but then Nadine would remind her of the countless times she had tripped herself over after she caught her heels in her skirt. She thought herself a capable woman and in most cases so did Nadine but when it came to anything that involved special awareness Nadine watched her like a hawk. All trust gone out the window. Once safely inside, Nadine handed the skirt off so she could tie it around her own waist.

"Food is always a good topic of conversation when things turn sour" Nadine said as she held open her corset cover. "What are they serving tonight?"

"Oh God!" she exclaimed a little louder than intended. "It best be something big and packed full of protein. I've been dreaming about roast beef for hours".

Nadine chuckled and they walked to the rail where her evening gowns hung. She bypassed all the lighter coloured dressed in favour of a simple gown made of grey silk and layered with black mesh lace. She didn't feel like colours right now. She knew Nadine would disapprove. She was far more adventurous in her wardrobe choices than Elizabeth and she always tried to push her to be more outlandish. It had become a weird sort of ritual. She would choose what to wear then Nadine made an obligatory teasing comment.

"Are we mourning something?" Nadine asked as she saw the dark colours.

"My dignity maybe" she said.

Nadine rolled her eyes then carefully removed the gown from its bag. They both jumped at the sound of the door slamming open. Allison and Jason came hurtling into the room and in Jason's case, straight into her side. Her mood improved tenfold at the sight of their faces.

"Oof, look who's here!" she said as she picked Jason up and planted a kiss on Allison's head. Her daughter launched herself onto the bed before Stevie wandered in and threw herself down next to her. It seemed the place to be so Elizabeth dropped a wriggling Jason next to his sisters.

"Scoot" she said, moving Allison's doll out of the way so she could sit with them. "Are you having fun?" She asked. "What did you do this afternoon?"

"Nadine took us to the Gymnasium and I got to ride a camel!" Allison said. "Can we have one?"

"A camel?" she asked. "Where would we keep a camel?

"It could live in the stables! We have room!" she began to bounce up and down. She needed to put a stop to this before she got her hopes up. If Stephen overheard he would probably buy her one in remorse for his absence.

"I don't think they like the countryside very much, Noodle." She laid a hand on her head. "And besides won't that make Mr Hooves jealous?"

"I suppose" Allison tempered, her allegiance to her horse winning out.

With Allison's enthusiasm curbed, the room suddenly felt tired. "Come on" she clapped her hands together. "Tell me more. What about you two? Anything exciting happen?"

"Jason's got a girlfriend" Stevie said and Allison giggled.

"Is that so?" she looked up at Nadine questioningly.

"Jason befriended a young lady named piper today. I believe she is the Harriman's daughter."

"They're at our table tonight. I guess I'll be asking their daughters intentions" she joked, looking at her son who didn't seem to realise they were talking about him. He was preoccupied playing with his toy ship.

She asked what they thought of the Titanic.

"It's so big and new!" Allison said. "We played on the veranda and it was so pretty!"-

"What time will you and dad finish dinner" asked Stevie.

"Not too late, we'll have plenty of time to play on the deck before bed time". She looked at the three of them and sighed. "But, something's come up and dad's not going to be able to hang out with us tonight." She played with Allison's plait. "It's just going to be you and me but it'll still be fun. I promise." She felt terrible. Rationally she knew it wasn't her fault but as she took in their crest fallen faces she felt like the worst mother alive.

"Hey, I'm not that boring am I?" she asked in mock offence. The lack of response made her worried. Nadine gave her a reassuring look.

They had come up with a game on the car journey to keep Jason and Allison entertained. It involved listing sea creatures they wanted to see on their travels. Perhaps it would take their minds off it. "What do you think we'll see tonight?" She asked.

"Not Dad" Stevie grumbled. Well that didn't work. She was upset so Elizabeth would let it slide. She reached out to stroke Stevie's hair but she shrugged her off. She felt pang in her stomach.

"I want to see a humped back whale" Nadine said from across the room.

"I want to see a clown fish!" exclaimed Jason.

"We might see some sirens" said Allison.

"Sirens aren't real dummy" said Stevie.

"What do you know" she shoved her sister.

"I know more than you" she replied shoving back.

"Ah, ah, ah!" she gave them a cut it out look. She knew this would happen. She didn't blame Stevie for wanting to act out but she felt like she was failing as a parent every time she did. She was tired. She would probably feel better once she had some food in her stomach.

"Why don't you two help me pick out my accessories for tonight?" She asked. She hoped giving them a task to do would to distract them from their disappointment.

She watched Allison and Stevie start to work together as Nadine helped her into the dress they had picked. There was a bit of squabbling at first but they soon started clowning around. They amused themselves by putting her evening gloves over their noses and pretending to be elephants. Jason wanted in on the action and Stevie plopped a smaller glove on his head so he could be a chicken. She beamed proudly.

The moment was broken by a knock on the door. Stephen entered dressed in his white tie and tails. He had a smile on his face as he took in the scene but it soon fell as the kids turned to look at him with disappointment. "I guess your mother's told you I have to bail out tonight." He said.

Stevie folded her arms across her chest.

"Look" he tried to placate them. "I know you must be annoyed with me right now, but it's just tonight. I promise. We will have plenty of time to spend together the rest of the week."

"No I don't want to spend time with you." Stevie said. That was the biggest lie of the century. "You're always doing this! You can't make a promise after you've just broken one and think we'll believe you." She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

An uncomfortable silence weighed over them. Stephen looked worn. As much as she faulted him for this, she understood what he was feeling. Both their parents had been absent in their youth. For different reasons mind but it left its scars all the same. They never wanted their children to feel that pain. It must have been more obvious to her than him when they were feeling it because he kept making this same mistake. She squeezed his arm reassuringly but he remained quiet, rubbing his forehead. She hoped Stevie was ok.

Allison looked at her questioningly as things began to get awkward. Luckily Nadine spoke up.

"Is it true that Kat Sandoval is on board, Sir?"

"I've heard that, yes" said Stephen, grateful for the change in subject. "It's the talk of the town… or ship." He smirked to himself.

"Isn't she the one who owns all of those avocado farms?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes, she's rather an odd figure. One hears many things about her. All rather unseemly if you ask me." She wasn't asking.

She had heard plenty of rumours about Kat Sandoval, all completely different. Everyone seemed desperate to have their say. She was what they referred to as 'New Money' and that meant even if she was the most average woman on the face of the earth it wouldn't stop the upper crust from speculating about her. One minute she was wearing men's clothing, the next she was throwing furniture at poor unsuspecting plutocrats. She had no Idea what to believe but if any of it were true, she liked Kat Sandoval immensely.

"Who knew there was so much profit in avocados of all things!" Stephen said.

"It must be profitable. She has done well for herself." She replied. "And spending all day out in the open air! It all sounds enviable to me."

Stephen let out an amused breath. "She had a breakdown, honey."

"Did she?" she asked.

"She threw a chair at Craig Sterling"

"I'm not sure that qualifies as a breakdown. If there had been a chair in my vicinity when he spoke to me, it would have been hurtling in his direction."

"Let's just be thankful he's not here tonight then. Although, that would add some entertainment to the evening!" He chuckled.

"Maybe I could throw one at Julius Burton". She was only half joking.

The smile dropped from Stephen's face and she knew they were about to rehash the argument from earlier. He asked for the room and Nadine moved to usher the kids out.

"Wait" Elizabeth said motioning them over. She dropped a kiss on each of their heads. "Love you, love you". She knew Nadine would look out for Stevie.

The door shut with a definitive click, leaving them in an uncomfortable silence. Elizabeth walked across the room and sat back down at the vanity table.

"We should talk about earlier." Stephen said. At her lack of response he continued. "I don't want you to feel like I don't respect you"—

"Noted"

He sighed. "Elizabeth, look at me"

She met his eyes in the mirror.

"You know he's going to try to strong-arm you" she said.

Stephen sighed. "Do you really want to relitigate this?"

She turned around in her chair to face him. "It's important you know what you're going into" she said. "I Know men like Burton—"

"So do I" he said. Because you're one of them, she thought.

"He wants to get the best deal out of you and that means screwing you over. The only reason we've been invited to sit at his table is so he can try to do so. Tell me you know that. It's important to me that you know that."

"We're not talking about this."

"Stephen" she stood up.

"I'm sorry I sprung this on you. I really am". It sounded insincere. "I know you hate these dinners but I promise it's just for tonight." He laid a hand on her shoulder and she resisted the urge to shrug him off like Stevie did earlier. He was trying to placate her in the hopes that she would 'behave well' at dinner but the more he talked the less civil she was inclined to be.

"I bought you something" he produced a small back box from his pocket. Inside was a silver pendant. Look at that, she thought. A bribe. She turned anyway and allowed him to put it on her. It was a small chain but it say heavily on her neck.

"You look beautiful tonight". He kissed her cheek as if everything was settled.

* * *

Despite Stephen's concerns, and much to hers, they had arrived with plenty of time to make small talk before dinner. There was a jovial air in the reception room but it she didn't feel it. People here didn't like each other. Not really. They socialised together but laughed through their teeth. Behind closed doors they sniggered and gossiped. She knew. She had been on the receiving end of it many times. She often felt self-conscious, surrounded by people who thought her beneath them, but she would never give them the pleasure of knowing that.

There was always the panic that gripped her when she walked into the room. Was her hair out of place? Was her dress inelegant? Could you see too much skin? It was an irrational fear. Nadine wouldn't let her out of her sight if she looked anything less than composed. The women here spent their lives reading up on the latest fashions, giving time, energy and lots of money trying to out-shine one another like overly competitive Christmas trees. She made an effort but it was never her forte. She wasn't from this world and certain individuals had no trouble reminding her of that fact.

She recognised a few people and made her introductions to others. As promised she and Regina Harriman spent a good ten minutes talking about the children.

She spotted Julius Burton across the room. He looked much the same as he had when she last saw him. Portly, balding and with that same stupid, ugly face… at least she was being mature about it. She clenched her fist.

His wife clung tightly to his arm. Why any woman would want to marry Julius Burton she didn't know. Everyone's circumstances are different she supposed. She was married to Stephen and not Timothy, her imaginary beau from the deck.

They were called into the dining saloon by the ship's Bugler playing 'The Roast Beef of Old England.' The jolly tune felt almost satirical.

Elizabeth tried to be in a good mood. This was supposed to be a pleasant evening. She wasn't going to let Stephen springing this on her spoil it completely. She just had to grit her teeth and bare it until a time came when she could make her escape without appearing rude.

She wasn't surprised to see they were at the head table what with their company. Nadine was right. Not only was Mr Andrews joining them but they would also be dining with the star of the evening himself, Bruce Ismay. After exchanging air kisses and pleasantries people took their turns to fawn over him.

"She is like they said, 'a floating palace' Mr Ismay." Theresa Hurst gushed.

"That's due to our master ship builder here" Ismay gripped the shoulder of Mr Andrews. "Designed her from keel plates up"

What with dining alongside the ship's creators... and the man who paid for her, a large deal of back-slapping was to be expected.

"That's not entirely true, it was your vision that willed it into reality." Oh just kiss already.

She was being unfair. Of course they had reason to celebrate. It was a grand ship after all but she couldn't help it. Her conversation with Stephen earlier had left her in a foul mood.

"Who decided on the name Titanic?" asked Stephen.

"That would be me" replied Ismay. "She's the largest moving object built by men's hands. She needed a name that conveyed her sheer size and glory."

She felt the words coming out of mouth before she could stop them. "Are you familiar with the work of Dr. Freud? His ideas about the male's obsession with size might be of particular interest to you, Mr. Ismay".

There was a silent pause. She didn't know what impulse had led her to—Ismay started laughing, setting off the same reaction around the table. She let out a breath and smirked to herself. Stephen's warning look burned a hole in the side of her head. She knew it was a risk but he needed to lighten up a little. She hadn't jeopardised anything for him… yet.

Once the guffaw had died down, the conversation returned to the same mindless chatter. She twirled her wine glass absentmindedly as she stared out of the window. The portholes were back-lit by lamps to give the room the atmosphere of an elegant, land-based restaurant.

Soon the waiter arrived to take their orders. "We'll both have the lamb. Rare, with a little mint sauce" Stephen spoke for her. He should know that wasn't going to fly.

"Will you be cutting my meat for me too?" she asked him.

"I thought you liked lamb, honey."

"That's not the point" she bit out but anything further she had to say was cut short as he turned his back to her and launched straight into a conversation with Mrs Burton. Of all the gall… He really was desperate to avoid causing a scene. She wouldn't provoke him. Not on purpose.

She slumped back in her chair and stared at the empty plate in front of her. God, she was starving. Back in her imaginary date she and Timothy would be halfway through their first course by now. He would probably let her have a bite of his food just to see what it tasted like… She hoped dinner arrived soon.

Her thoughts were cut short by Mr Andrews. "I hear you're working on a new property development out in Manchester, Mr Dewitt".

"That's correct. We've been able to offer some attractive packages and have lined up a couple of big names for investors… It's coming together." Stephen said. The waiters arrived with their food. Her mouth watered.

For the first time Julius Burton spoke up, "I've had my eye on you for a while now. I'm glad to know a sharp young man like you has taken on your father's company," Stephen practically bounced with glee. She fought the urge to roll her eyes.

Instead, she took her first bite of the lamb and almost slid off her seat. God it was good.

"I'm interested in seeing what you have to offer" Burton said. "Perhaps we could meet tomorrow morning?" She paused her chewing.

"That sound's ideal" Stephen said without a moment's hesitation and suddenly the taste turned foul in her mouth. Stevie was right. He was sacrificing his relationship with his children right in front of her.

"You don't mind me stealing your husband away from you tomorrow, Mrs Dewitt?" Burton asked.

"Of course" she said through a smile so tight she was surprised her teeth didn't shatter.

"Let's save this for tomorrow then. We mustn't bore the ladies" Burton said.

"Oh you're not boring me Mr Burton. I prefer to be kept up-to-date... Since I'm clearly not invited to your meeting." She gave Stephen a dangerous look and took another bite of lamb.

"Are you still dilly-dallying with all of this suffragist nonsense?" Burton asked across the table.

"If by 'nonsense' you mean concerning myself with the rights of half the human population… Then yes, I suppose I am." She replied.

"What do you make of Mrs Pankhurst, Elizabeth?" Regina cut in.

"I find some of her methods questionable" she said. "But I admire her bravery and dedication to the greater cause."

"I think she is a despicable woman." Burton spat. "She is leading perfectly respectable young women astray. Just last week a friend of mine had a brick thrown through his window."

His friend probably deserved it.

"You own property on Oxford Street do you not?" Mr Harriman asked.

"I do. Thankfully it wasn't vandalised. But you can be sure I would have been the first to press charges. They have no right to be doing the things they are."

Stephen put a hand on her thigh but she ignored him.

"It's hard to accomplish change when you can't be heard. If you have been told to be quiet all your life, no one listens to you. I agree that violence should only be used as a last resort but many feel we have reached that point." She challenged.

"It's truly shocking" Mrs Burton said. "The things these women are doing, it won't be long until someone loses their life".

"They already have, In prison." She snapped. Everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable.

"If these women want to starve themselves, let them" Burton said. If someone were to cross between them right now they would surely burst into flames.

"At least the government are pushing back" Mr Rasmussen chimed in timidly.

"The methods of suppression being used by the government and police are despicable." She said. "If they want to stop the violence they should start with themselves. Their methods are torturous and are doing nothing but justifying the women's aggression. Asking for freedom isn't a crime. They shouldn't even be treated as criminals."

"They should all be locked up" Burton spat.

"Is this just the militant women or would you have me locked away too, Mr Burton?"

Just then a woman dropped down in the spare seat at the table. "I appear to be interrupting something." she said rubbing her hands together in glee.

Confused eyes stared at her until George Harriman introduced her as Kat Sandoval. Despite his previous thoughts about the woman, Stephen must be thankful for her presence now. He wasn't even trying to hide his displeasure. She realised how tight his grip on her thigh had become. He let go as she reached a hand across the table. "Pleasure to meet you" she said as no one else seemed to be doing so. "It's great to finally put a name to the face". She smiled. Her thigh hurt.

"I'm sure" she winked. "Elizabeth Dewitt right? I saw what you wrote, supporting the minimum wage being introduced for those miners. It's great to meet you." She said sincerely. That took her by surprise. Ms Sandoval looked around. "Have I missed the first course? It looks good."

The conversation shifted with Kat's arrival. There were plenty of questions for her, few that weren't thinly veiled attempts to insult or fish for gossip. Elizabeth watched Kat handle each one expertly with humour and found herself falling a little bit more under her spell with each answer she gave. No wonder this woman had done so well for herself.

The evening drew on and she allowed herself to fall into the background. Everyone was probably grateful for that. Especially her husband. She entertained herself listening to Kat Sandoval talk. Every so often their eyes would meet in amusement or exasperation across the table. They had barely said two words to one another but Elizabeth felt a kinship with this woman. If only in their mutual dislike for Julius Burton.

Eventually the men excused themselves to the smoking room. This was usually the point she made her escape but instead she scooted along a seat until she was sat next to Ms Sandoval.

"I want to thank you for stepping in when you did earlier. I know you must have overheard our conversation."

"Honestly" Kat said. "I wish I hadn't. It looked like things were about to get interesting".

Elizabeth snorted. "Trust me when I say you saved me a whole heap of trouble. I was supposed to be on my best behaviour tonight. I'd already pushed the bounds of polite conversation when you arrived".

"That's a shame. Some of the best things happen when we're badly behaved"

"I hear you're somewhat of an expert on that." She said.

"One hears a lot of things. Not all necessarily true" she was clearly referring to the salacious rumours circulating about her.

"Perhaps I heard wrong about you? You do own avocado farms in California. Right?"

"That might be the one thing that is true" Kat said.

Elizabeth glanced at the clock. She was pushing it if she wanted to get the kids to bed at a decent hour. "I'm sorry to do this but I have to rush off" They took each other's hands. "I really am so glad to have met you"

"You too. And I meant it earlier when I said I had read your work. I was impressed."

"Thanks" She blushed. "And I want to hear all about farming" Kat gave her a disbelieving look. "I'm serious" She insisted. "I'll see you around?"

"I'll be here." Kat smiled.

All in all the evening wasn't as bad as she had expected… forgetting the outburst with Burton. If Stephen managed to rectify things over a glass of port she could probably avoid a confrontation tonight. Hopefully her evening would only get better from here.

* * *

A/N: I'm going to try and keep the number of real life individuals who were on the Titanic to a minimum but there are some I will have to include (Andrews, Ismay). I wanted a Molly Brown figure in my story and thought who better than Kat Sandoval for a woman unafraid to be unique and vocal in her opinions!

This was a super long one, I hope you enjoyed it!

Get ready for Henry and Elizabeth to meet (Finally!) Please keep those reviews coming!


	4. Chapter 4

Cherbourg, France, 10th April 1912

Henry was unsettled by what he learnt at dinner. In his haste to purchase his tickets he hadn't paused to check the ships schedule.

They would be docking in Queenstown tomorrow morning to pick up more passengers. He wasn't too worried. Now he had met Jane and Joséhe reason not to jump ship. He doubted Jane would let him even if he wanted to. She had been keeping a watchful eye on him all afternoon. She must have sensed his anxiety.

He liked them both immensely. They both had their flaws but they had seen he was alone and welcomed him into their circle. Right now they were at a party in the general room. He had been invited to join them but he needed some time alone. It had been a long and overwhelming day. Jane had seemed concerned when he begged off but she let it slide. José hadn't even noticed.

Henry had returned to the bench they had been sitting at earlier. It was the calmest spot he had found so far and he thought it would be a good place to write. Though, he had to admit, his motives in choosing this spot weren't entirely pure. He had been thinking about 'her' all afternoon and was hoping the mysterious woman from earlier might make an appearance.

It was only early evening but the sky was full of stars above him. A warm glow spilled out from the ships windows onto the deck. It was quiet except for the distant sound of the party and the waves crashing against the hull.

He was alone except for the odd wanderer also seeking solitude. It should be the perfect time to get some writing done but there were too many thoughts swirling about his head.

Henry thought of the guys back at the vineyard. The people he had left behind without a goodbye. He hoped John would give them his apologies.

He also thought of Rev. Laurent who would be expecting him on Tuesday. His help had been invaluable and Henry didn't want him to think he was ungrateful.

He would have to write to them all when he had a new address. Not that he knew where that would be just yet. There was one answer gnawing at the back of his mind but he didn't want to think about that right now or he would be getting off in Queenstown.

He shouldn't worry anyway. He doubted he would be welcome there after all this time… He was thinking about it again.

He could have just stayed in France and avoided all of this. It was lovely this time of year.

Bang.

That was when he heard it, the sound of a weighted object hitting the wooden floor and rolling. He listened for anything further that might explain what the strange noise was but it was silent.

Henry waited a moment longer until his curiosity got the better of him. He put his notebook away and went to investigate. It wasn't as if he had been writing anything anyway.

The sound had not been far from where he was sitting. He only had to walk a few steps and around the corner to find his answer. A small wooden spinning top. It must have fallen from the deck above.

Henry picked it up and felt its weight in his hand. Thank goodness he wasn't sitting under it when it fell. That would have hurt like hell.

There didn't seem to be anyone around to claim the toy but he remembered hearing some children playing on the first class deck. The toy looked expensive and well-loved. He imagined whoever lost it would want it back. When no one appeared to collect it he decided to track the owner down himself.

There was a narrow staircase that would lead him to the promenade and he climbed until his path was blocked by a sign proclaiming 'No third class passengers allowed beyond this point'. There wasn't anyone around to stop him. It felt like he was trespassing but he continued on.

When he reached the top of the staircase, he found himself on the aft end of the first class deck. A few steps away from where the woman had stood. He looked behind him at where he had been sitting. It was a long way down. He must have looked quite sinister from her perspective.

He was in a large open space but there was no one in sight. He walked to the covered section of the promenade.

About halfway down the walkway sat a woman sat with three children. His breath caught in his throat. It was her. She had changed her outfit and was wearing a wide brimmed hat but it was definitely the woman from before.

He approached with trepidation. He didn't belong on this deck and didn't want them to be startled when they saw the scruffy steerage passenger lurking behind them. The woman would probably think he was stalking her.

He had spent the afternoon thinking about her. What if she was arrogant and judgmental and not at all what Henry's fantasies had led him to believe. If he didn't frighten her she would probably brush him off like an annoying fly or call to have him removed from her presence.

He couldn't back away now. Today was a day of standing up to his own cowardice and he wasn't planning on ending it here.

The children looked up first which must have alerted her to his presence. She turned to him with those same piercing eyes and he felt his step falter. She was even more stunning up close.

As he approached she stood to meet him. She must have recognised him as the man who had been staring at her like a crazy person, but she didn't say anything. Neither did he. They just stood there looking at each other. He didn't know for how long. It could have been two seconds or two hours. Henry couldn't tell. He'd lost all sense of time.

He remembered he was holding the toy in his hand. He didn't really know what to say so he held it in front of him and choked out the words, "I found this".

She looked down at it and opened her mouth to say something. Her voice caught and she had to stop to clear her throat. "Thank you" she said. Her voice was quiet and kind of nasally. It made Henry's knees feel weak.

She took it from his hand and their fingers brushed. The woman's cheeks went a little bit red. She turned and ushered a young boy forwards. He was very cute, dressed in a sailor suit. The woman handed him the toy and he took it eagerly.

"What do you say Jason?" she asked.

The little boy thanked him shyly then ran off to play spin the top as if he and his toy had never been parted.

If he was polite he would leave now but the woman made no move to dismiss him. Instead she just stood there looking at him expectantly.

"They hire them young on the Titanic!" he said awkwardly in reference to the boy's sailor outfit. He expected her to be turned off by his amateur attempt at small talk but instead she beamed proudly and looked back at her son.

"Yes, I heard they let him go from the steam rooms" she played along. "Can't reach the furnaces."

Henry's cheeks hurt from trying not to smile like an idiot. He didn't really know what to say then for fear of blurting out how much he was attracted to her. He didn't have to worry about saying anything, she beat him to it.

"You were staring at me earlier" she said seriously, as if he might have forgotten.

"So were you" he said back. He sounded defensive. He didn't mean to.

"I'm sorry". She said. "I don't mean to— I'm not accusing you of anything… If I was, it would be quite hypocritical of me". She laughed nervously. God she was beautiful.

"You don't have to apologise".

"I'm Elizabeth" she said. The name suited her. Elegant, sophisticated.

"Henry" he shook her hand.

"Henry…" She repeated his name as if mulling it over.

"Yes" he said questioningly still holding her hand. "Is that alright with you?"

"Sorry" she laughed and her smile took his breath away. "I just—never mind". She let go of his hand. He wished she hadn't. They stood there silently. He knew he should make his leave. He had done what he came here to do but he didn't want the conversation to end.

"You looked peaceful earlier… watching the sea." He knew that sounded stupid, even a little creepy. It just came out of his mouth.

"I find it relaxing" she said. They had that in common.

He motioned with his head to the railings that stood a few feet from them. She glanced at the children to make sure they were alright before she followed him. They seemed to be absorbed in their activities. The two girls were making up clapping games and laughing when their hands missed. Jason was still playing with his spinning toy.

They stood against the railings for a while. The conversation had fizzled out but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. Every so often someone would walk past them and give a strange look at the odd pairing. He didn't let it bother him. She didn't seem to notice.

She began fidgeting beside him and he wondered if the silence was making her uneasy. Then he noticed she was shivering. She must be freezing in only a thin overcoat, and those fancy gloves didn't look like they would protect her from anything other than hollandaise sauce.

"I would offer you my scarf but I don't think it would go with that dress of yours" he said.

"You keep it" she tried to smile and shivered harder.

He took it off and handed it to her anyway. She looked at him like he had two heads. "You'll freeze!" she said.

"Well by the looks of it you already are. We can freeze together". She wrapped it around her neck and smiled lightly through the wool as she held it to her face.

"You must be mad. You don't even know me" it was muffled.

"You're the one accepting items of clothing from complete strangers" he teased.

"Thank you" she said. "For the scarf and for bringing back Jason's toy. It's one of his favourites."

"I'm glad he dropped it." Henry said seriously and she blushed. "Even if he almost concussed me in the process!"

She let out a sharp maniacal cackle that couldn't have contrasted her appearance more.

"I'm glad you think that's funny" he said and bumped lightly against her. Why he did that he didn't know. But she bumped him lightly back.

Her face was still buried firmly in his scarf but her eyes gleamed with mischief.

"You're lucky there wasn't a watchman about. I hear they're pretty strict about who they let up here" he said.

She looked down and he was worried he'd said something to upset her.

"Did I say something—"

"No!" her head shot up. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry if I implied you shouldn't be here, or made you feel uncomfortable or —"

Was she serious? "I was only kidding" he cut her off. He had no idea what she was talking about. She could have taken the toy and brushed him off like he was nothing. Instead she was here laughing at his jokes and hogging his scarf.

"Besides" He said. "it's not quite as fancy up here as I was led to believe." She had a weird combination of amusement, confusion and relief on her face and it made Henry feel mushy inside. "I mean, it could probably do with a spruce of paint. And what's with the lack of cushioning on those deck chairs!" he gestured behind him in mock horror. "I'll have to have a word with the man in charge."

She scoffed "dreadful isn't it! You ought to talk to Mr Ismay. He surely has a lot to answer for." She smiled, bumping into his side again.

Elizabeth turned and leant her back against the railing. She opened her mouth something witty but instead her brow furrowed and she said "wait, where did he go?" The change in tone threw Henry though a loop.

"Huh?" He said, not really sure what she was asking him.

"Jason." There was an edge to her voice.

He looked around. He couldn't see the little boy.

"Girls" Her voice cracked slightly. "Where is your brother?"

The two girls stopped playing to look around, puzzled.

He looked left then right. The promenade seemed to stretch for miles but it was a straight walkway with very few places for a little boy to hide.

Elizabeth walked a few steps away from him and called Jason's name. When there was no response she tried again.

"Jase! Come on, playtimes over!" The girls looked at him confusedly.

He walked over to Elizabeth and placed a reassuring hand on her arm. "He's only got little legs, he can't have gotten far" he said and took a step back at the look she gave him.

"I really don't appreciate your sense of humour" she said. Any sign of the Elizabeth he had been joking with a minute ago was gone. She was now very much in crisis mode.

Her eyes widened. "Oh my God! There was that man," she grabbed his arm. "Before- there was that man by himself!" It took him a moment to picture who she was talking about. The man in question had been sitting fifty feet from them reading a book. He had seemed unassuming to Henry but his presence and now lack thereof was causing Elizabeth to work herself into a state.

"Don't panic," he said as he pried her fingers from his arm. "Jason's probably playing hide and seek. Children wander off from their parents all the time"

"Oh God!" She cried.

"They show back up again!" he said quickly.

"That's not comforting. Like at all" she waved her hands in front of her. The girls had wandered over to them. They were starting to get worked up the more their mother was.

"Look" he said calmly. "His spinning top isn't here. It probably rolled off again and he went after it."

She was trying to calm her breathing but her eyes still shone with panic. She glanced to her right at the churning icy water beyond the railing. He knew what she was thinking. He needed to stop her from panicking. She was starting to scare the two little girls who clung to her skirts.

"I'll go down onto D deck and see if he's there. We'll look around first before we raise any alarms, ok?"

She nodded, biting her lip. "I'll check inside."

This was not how he had imagined his evening going. He supposed this counted as taking his mind of things. It just wasn't in the way he had expected. He didn't know what was happening. He had known Elizabeth for less than ten minutes and she had already challenged everything he thought he knew about upper-class women. She wasn't afraid to talk to him and when she did, she was fun, witty, smart and caring. When she laughed it made him feel warm and when she worried he felt the overwhelming need to fix it.

He hoped she was holding it together for herself and those girls. At the realisation that Jason was missing her mood had turned so quickly he wasn't sure if he had been left with whiplash.

After they parted, he made his way back down the staircase to search for her runaway child. He gave a cursory glance around the deck but there was no sign of Jason. The further Henry had to walk without the boy making an appearance left him wondering if maybe he should consider those worst case scenarios that Elizabeth had thrown out. Suddenly everyone he passed seemed suspicious.

He was about ready to sound the alarms when he finally spotted Jason and the relief that filled him almost bowled him over. The little boy was sat up on his knees holding onto the railing as he looked out to sea. When he realised the boy was crying Henry's walk turned into a run.

He carefully crouched down next to Jason so not to startle him. "Hey Buddy. You gave your mom quite the fright!" And me too he thought. "What's the matter?"

"It went in" was his teary response.

"Your toy?" Jason nodded and swiped the tears off his face.

"Oh no. I'm so sorry Bud. Come on let's go back to your mom. Ok?" He offered him a hand. Jason nodded again and took it as they both rose to their feet.

He continued to cry quietly to himself as they walked back along the deck. Jason's clothes clearly placed him as a wealthy child and a few people gave them funny glances as they passed.

If they were so concerned for the boy's welfare they should have stepped in before when it counted.

Jason struggled with the stairs that seemed too big for his little legs so Henry picked him up and carried him the rest of the way.

They rounded the corner to the covered promenade to see Elizabeth talking with the man from before. He wouldn't call it arguing, more panic induced bickering.

As soon as Jason saw his mom his crying increased tenfold. Elizabeth ran forwards with relief on her face to comfort her crying son but the man seemed more concerned with Henry.

He grabbed Henry by the lapels of his jacket and got in his face. "You filth!" he spat. "What did you think you were doing with my son?!" Woah... What did he miss?

"Stephen!" Elizabeth said from her crouched position but 'Stephen' didn't take any notice and continued to jerk Henry about, waiting for an answer.

Elizabeth got up to intervene. "Stephen! Stop!" she put a hand on his arm. "He helped find Jason. He was bringing him back" she insisted.

The man calmed slightly but he still held onto his jacket.

"Jason wandered off. Henry was bringing him back." Elizabeth said, guiding his hands away from Henry.

"Wandered off?" Stephen asked him sceptically.

"That's about the long and the short of it" Henry said. "His spinning top fell overboard".

Stephen sighed dramatically, turning to Elizabeth. "Why do these things always happen when I leave you alone? You should have brought Nadine with you."

"I can manage by myself" She huffed, pulling Jason closer to her side.

"Clearly." Stephen said. Henry was right earlier. This man was an asshole.

"Well aren't you going to thank him?" Elizabeth asked Stephen.

Henry watched as the man wordlessly reached into his pocket and pulled out a one pound note. He stuffed it into Henry's hand. He didn't know what to make of that.

"One pound? Is that the going rate for helping your son?" That was more than Henry made in a week.

Stephen appraised him for a second before smiling amusedly. "Perhaps you could join us for dinner tomorrow evening?" he paused. "To tell us all about your tale… and to explain why my wife is wearing your scarf."

He'd forgotten about that. Elizabeth unwound the scarf and handed it back to him.

"I'll be there" he said as he made eye contact with Elizabeth. He knew Stephen was having fun at his expense. Why else would he be invited to dinner? But Henry wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to spend more time with Elizabeth. He might get some good food out of the bargain too.

"That's settled then" Stephen said and turned to Elizabeth. "Let's go in. its freezing and it's way past the children's bed time". Elizabeth held the kids close to her side as they walked away.

"You shouldn't have been wearing his scarf. I doubt that thing has ever been washed" Stephen said but she wasn't listening. She gave him one final glance over her shoulder before they stepped inside and out of his view.


	5. Chapter 5

Queenstown, Ireland, 11th April 1912

Elizabeth couldn't stop running the events of last night through her mind. She was still shaken from the fear of losing Jason and subsequently she hadn't stopped fussing over him all morning. She knew she was driving Nadine up the wall. Nadine had told her as much. That was why they were currently sat out on the promenade. Nadine thought a bit of fresh air would do her some good. That and she wanted to keep Elizabeth and her fretting at arm's length.

Elizabeth had told Nadine that she lost Jason over breakfast, but it took a while to work up the courage. Once she had, she spilled the whole story from Henry's appearance and dinner invitation to what was now being referred to as 'Stephen's moment'. Nadine of course told her that had she been there the whole thing wouldn't have happened. Funny. That was the same thing Stephen said. They needn't have worried though. She had Henry to look out for her.

Elizabeth didn't remember how she described Henry to Nadine but she must have said something flattering. Whatever it was, it led to Nadine asking if his good looks were the cause of her negligence and her flushed cheeks gave her away before she could muster a response. Of course she was attracted to him. He was a good looking man. It wasn't as if she was blinded by that though. It wasn't as if she had agreed to come outside because she was hoping to bump into him.

If he happened to show up and loan her his scarf again she would be totally fine with that because despite the sun's presence, it was cold out. Elizabeth was cosy from her toes up in her woollen coat but the chill stung her exposed neck. She had a scarf of her own back in the suite but she chose not to wear it. When she went to put it on, she was reminded of Henry and the comfort she felt wrapped in his. Elizabeth's scarf was thin and decorative and wouldn't give her the same satisfaction.

Maybe subconsciously she had hoped Henry had some kind of sixth sense for cold necks and would hone in to offer her protection. She realised how silly that was now and she eyed Nadine's fur shawl with envy.

His knitwear wasn't the only thing she wanted from him. Elizabeth had some stuff she needed to say. She knew she was going to see Henry tonight but the things she wanted to tell him were best said in private. She would start by apologising for Stephen's behaviour.

Elizabeth had spent a good deal of time mulling it over. She thought about how Stephen's first instinct hadn't been to comfort their son but to threaten Henry. His disdain for a man from the working class wasn't out of character but his threat of violence was. Stephen didn't usually get physical in his confrontations, he preferred to just throw money at it and hope it would sort itself out. Like most English gentlemen, he was restrained when it came to displays of emotion. Perhaps acting like a brute was his way of showing he cared. Either way it shouldn't have happened.

She was partly to blame. Stephen was working off the information she gave him and in her panicked state she only told him that Jason was missing. He was probably just as frightened as she was but that didn't excuse the way he reacted. She felt ashamed to have played any part in it.

Henry had clearly been taken aback by her husband's behaviour but he didn't react. Elizabeth didn't know why, but his calm demeanour only made Stephen's behaviour all the more embarrassing. She felt bad to have left Henry alone on the deck after the confrontation without so much as a sorry and thank you. She was going to apologise for that too when she saw him.

Right now, she was reclining on a deckchair at the open end of the promenade. Nadine and the girls were quietly reading while Jason played with his toy ship. This was a prime opportunity to relax and catch up on some of the sleep she was missing but she wasn't able to. While Nadine and the girls were absorbed in their books no one was keeping a close eye on Jason. Elizabeth didn't think she could handle a repeat of last night.

It had taken a long time to calm Jason down. That spinning top had been one of his favourite toys and he wasn't going to let it go so easily. After what seemed like hours crying, she was finally able to get him settled. Stevie had sung to him to try and help him sleep. Elizabeth had felt so proud as she watched the two of them. After what had been a day of emotional upheaval for her daughter, she had still stepped up to look after her brother when he was upset. It had worked like a miracle too. Perhaps she should have employed Stevie to do the same for her, and then she might not be feeling so exhausted at 2:30 in the afternoon.

It was just herself, Nadine and the children today since Stephen was in his meeting. Elizabeth had been expecting at least a bit of huffiness from Stevie but surprisingly there was no mention of her father's absence. The excitement of last night had probably shifted her focus. It had certainly shifted hers.

At that moment, a shadow fell over her face as someone had stepped in front of her. The bright sun obscured whoever it was and it took a second for her eyes to adjust. It was a steward.

"Excuse me ma'am" his voice wavered. He looked at Elizabeth like she might lunge at him should he say something to offended her. "This is unusual to say the least, but I have a steerage man asking to speak with you. He claims to know you and that you wouldn't mind… of course I can send him away if you wish." He finished quickly.

Elizabeth peered around him and as expected she saw Henry. He was waiting patiently behind a gate. He must have been standing a few steps down because he looked about three feet shorter than he had last night. When he gave her a sheepish wave she had to stifle a laugh.

"No! Don't send him away. I'll speak with him." The man looked at her like she had a screw loose. "Thank you" she said politely hoping to send him on his way.

"I take it this is our knight in shining armour?" Nadine drawled.

"Yep" she said, fighting a grin.

The steward finally released poor Henry from his confinement and Elizabeth got up to greet him. "This is unexpected" she said.

Henry's face dropped. Damn, she didn't mean for that to sound the way it did. "I'm sorry" he said. "I don't mean to intrude. I just wanted to check up on you… after last night". That was so kind of him and now she had given him the impression that he was unwelcome.

"It's no intrusion" she insisted. He looked doubtful. "We were just lounging around. I think the kids were getting a bit bored. You should come and say hello. And you have to meet Nadine!" She was rambling but she couldn't help herself, so long as it stopped Henry from walking away. She tugged on his arm and he looked slightly bewildered.

"Guys, you remember Mr…"

"McCord" he supplied.

"Irish?" She blurted out. He didn't have an Irish accent but you never knew.

"Um... My Great Grandfather" He said.

Elizabeth remembered how she had referred to him as 'Timothy' when she first saw him. She felt embarrassed to think about it now, even slightly ashamed. Surely by projecting her fantasies on him when she was frustrated, she was no better than Stephen using him as a scapegoat for his fear. Henry McCord suited him much better.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr McCord." Nadine said. "I've heard all about how you rescued our runaway."

"Lovely to meet you". Henry replied. Nadine was assessing them, looking them up and down and Elizabeth realised she was still holding onto Henry's arm. Since Elizabeth never gave Nadine verbal confirmation of her attraction, she was surely looking for something to prove herself right. Elizabeth had just fanned the flames of her suspicions.

"Is it possible to talk?" He asked after she let go of him. This was the opportunity she had been searching for to give him her apology. But, as she looked at the kids and especially at Jason, she found herself anxious to leave them.

She told herself that they were still feeling rejected by their father's absence and that they couldn't cope without her. In reality they had been so absorbed in their activities that they had hardly taken notice of her all morning. She was just reluctant to admit that she was afraid to leave Jason. She knew Nadine was perfectly capable of keeping an eye on him, but Elizabeth had previously thought herself capable too. Look what happened last night.

"Well, I should really—"

"She'd love too" Nadine said. Elizabeth's mouth snapped shut.

"But—" Elizabeth spluttered. Nadine cut her off with a sharp look. Elizabeth licked her dry lips and felt her stomach flop over. Henry was staring back at her like a lost puppy. She made a conscious decision there and then that Nadine could handle the kids by herself. She was going to spend time with Henry and wasn't going to let her anxieties cross her mind again. Easier said than done, of course. "Ok, but If anything comes up…"

"Nothing will come up" Nadine said clearly trying her best to get rid of her. God, she really must have been doing Nadine's head in this morning.

The children hardly seemed to notice their interaction so she suggested she and Henry take a walk before she changed her mind. They wandered down the promenade in silence. Unlike last night, it was an uncomfortable silence. She must have given him a bad impression with her little display. She really ought to explain. Elizabeth put a gentle hand on his arm and drew them to a stop. "Henry?" she said questioningly, unsure if it was appropriate to call him that now she knew his full name. He nodded and she continued. "Please don't think I didn't want to talk… It's just the kids have had a hard time of it recently. I promised myself I would spend more time with them." She didn't tell him that she was apprehensive about straying too far from Jason. She liked him but she wasn't quite ready to lay all her insecurities out on the table.

Even though she hadn't given him the whole truth, Henry nodded in understanding. "How are you holding up?" he asked.

"Oh, it's fine. I'm fine". He looked at her disbelievingly. "It has been a rough morning" She conceded.

Henry guided them towards the railings so they weren't in the way of the passers-by. "Did you get much sleep?" He asked.

"I got enough" she said. That was a Lie. She had spent all night tossing and turning and had been grateful when the sun finally came up. She couldn't stop thinking about Jason. Each time she closed her eyes she couldn't find him. She was back on the deck calling his name to no avail. She would search and search but the promenade stretched onwards and Jason was nowhere to be seen. That's not really how it played out of course. Henry had stepped up and it took him all of five minutes to find him.

"I want to thank you. For helping my son last night." Her voice wobbled and she ran her hands along the railing. God she must be tired. "I know he wasn't in any danger but we were worried all the same".

"It was nothing" he said reassuringly.

"It wasn't nothing! You didn't have to go out of your way to help us. I mean… We had only just met!" Henry nodded in agreement.

"No, you're right I was being falsely modest" He said, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Even if I was put out— which I wasn't. It was worth it just to freeze my ass off out here with you." She felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Was he trying to embarrass her?

"I almost stole your scarf" she said.

"I know! Here's me, barely owning the clothes I stand in and you swoop in like a bandit to steal what little I have left." He said aghast. "I guess we can thank your husband for stopping you". She smiled at his teasing but her heart wasn't in it. At the mention of her husband she felt heavy and her eyes dropped to the floor.

"Speaking of Stephen" she said. "I want to apologise for his behaviour last night. What he said— and did, was unacceptable" her hands trembled and fidgeted. "Especially after you went out of your way to help us. So, I'm sorry." She looked at him, her face screwed up remorsefully but he seemed unfazed by her nervous energy.

"You don't have to apologise for him" Henry said. "I'm sure it was just the heat of the moment." She wished it was.

"I haven't stopped fretting over Jason all morning. I think that's why Nadine was so eager to get rid of me" she confessed.

"Is she a friend of yours?"

"Well you'd have to ask her" she said. Henry looked confused. "I'd say so. She's my ladies maid and the kids Nanny".

"I wouldn't have guessed that" Henry said and Elizabeth knew where this was going. "My sister works in service. There is no way she would be allowed to talk to her employers the way Nadine just spoke to you. Let alone dress so… flamboyantly".

"Nadine isn't my prisoner, Henry".

"I know that… it's just rare to see". It was rare. The people around her, including her husband found her close relationship with her ladies maid odd to say the least. They had trained themselves to ignore their staff as if they were a part of the furniture. It was different for them.

"Nadine and I— We've been together upwards of fifteen years now. She's seen me at my best and worst… She's family". Henry nodded but there was doubt in his eyes. Elizabeth felt affronted. "I know you probably find that hard to believe. I sometimes do too. But Nadine could leave tomorrow and I would give her the most glowing reference anyone had ever received. She stays because of her relationship with the kids. Not because she is forced to."

"I didn't mean to suggest anything…" he said apologetically. Elizabeth knew she was being unreasonably defensive. She was so used to people trying to accuse her of something but Henry had given her no reason to think he would do the same. She seriously needed to turn it down a notch if she didn't want to scare him away.

"She was supposed to be with me last night" Elizabeth changed the subject. "She had the night off… If she didn't I probably wouldn't have lost Jason… Or so everyone keeps telling me." She smiled self-deprecatingly but the humour felt false as she said it.

If there was one thing she desperately didn't want to fail at it was being a good mother. Stephen had repeatedly insisted she take Nadine out with her but Elizabeth had refused. Who was he to doubt her parenting skills? At least she hadn't abandoned them for the night. She just… lost one of them. Elizabeth guessed she had her hero to thank, though he probably thought the same as everyone else. The only view he had of her as a mother, she was one child down and in panic mode.

Henry interrupted her pity party. "It's not for me to have an opinion" he said. "But I will say this… The love you have for your children is admirable and one mishap doesn't change anything". He looked at her intently and Elizabeth had to grab a hold of the railing. "You shouldn't let the opinions of others shape the way you see yourself as a mother" he said in full sincerity. She didn't know what to say to that. She just felt like she had been hit in the chest by a warm and comforting fist.

"Besides" Henry said. "It was my fault you were distracted in the first place. If they have any more complaints you should point them in my direction" he smiled. Elizabeth laughed and wiped discreetly at her eyes. How could one man make her feel so many emotions in such a short span of time? She was exhausted.

"You don't want that nightmare. Trust me" she cleared her throat. Elizabeth needed to change the subject before she forcibly bear hugged him. One thing in particular needed addressing. "Speaking of nightmares" she said and gestured between them. "Our dinner tonight".

Henry laughed. "I don't know. I'm looking forwards to it." Elizabeth hummed in response.

He might not have been worried about dinner but she was. She knew the only reason Stephen had invited Henry was so he could be their entertainment. Less of a dinner guest, more of a dancing bear. When she thought about it she felt like clenching her fists.

"I'm sure it will be an adventure" Henry said. "Getting to peak behind the curtain, to see how your lot lives." She looked at him despairingly.

"If you enjoy the petty troubles of the landed gentry…"

"I'm a guy who can have fun doing just about anything. And do you not fall into that category?"

"I'm American, I could never fall into that category…" She wanted to distance herself from their dinner companions as much as possible before Henry had a chance to meet them and began to associate her with them in his mind. If he did she wouldn't be surprised if he dropped her like a hot potato. Their short relationship had been built on a foundation of mutual respect. Henry most certainly wouldn't be getting that at dinner. She was worried he didn't quite know what he was in for. Elizabeth needed to warn him without scaring him away.

"I'm afraid tonight might not live up to your expectations. These aren't the most hospitable of people".

"I wouldn't worry. They haven't met me yet." He said with a smirk.

"Well" she hoped she sounded calm and breezy instead of apprehensive. "Maybe you can charm them out of their compassion fatigue." Henry continued to grin at her. He clearly didn't understand how awful this was going to be.

"In the words of Aristotle, 'Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all'. He said. Even in the mood she was in, Elizabeth couldn't help but crack a smile at that.

"All right smarty-pants" she said. "You give that your best shot but trust me when I say. That way lies madness."

"You don't think I can entice them into a more tolerant way of thinking?" He asked.

"Not in one sitting. I've moved in this circle for almost fifteen years and I have yet to achieve that. I've tried my best to chip the corners off Stephen but as with all of them, he was indoctrinated as a child to believe his purpose on Earth is to uphold a certain set of values. As much as I disagree with them… I've learned to live with it." For her own mental well-being if anything else.

"How romantic" he said.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Henry probably didn't know what to say to that without sounding rude so he said nothing at all. They fell silent, watching the waves crash by as they sunk into their thoughts. When the conversation lulled it didn't feel uncomfortable. Not for Elizabeth at least.

She felt more settled having apologised, knowing Henry wasn't going to hold her husband's actions against her. Looking back on it she felt silly for thinking he might in the first place. Henry was nothing like Stephen and she needed to stop viewing him through the same lens.

She had only just met him but she knew he was different from Stephen. He listened to her when she talked and asked engaging questions in response.

When she said spoke out of doubt or fear, he tried to raise her spirits rather than telling her she was being insufferable. It made her feel important. If he wasn't careful her head would start to swell. Elizabeth looked down at their hands resting next to each other on the freshly lacquered wood… She wondered what would happen if she reached her pinkie out and just—

"You shouldn't worry" Henry said and she jumped in surprise. "I do know that I've been invited to dinner as an object of curiosity".

She was relieved to hear him say that. If he already understood how they were going to treat him and he was still talking to her, it meant he wasn't lumping them into the same category.

"I don't mind being the butt of the joke if it means I get a fancy meal out of it" He said. She doubted he meant it, but either way it was music to her ears.

Her eyes widened and she gripped his arm. Henry looked startled. "God, you wouldn't believe the lamb I had last night. My mouth is watering just thinking about it! And the pastries" she pressed a hand to her chest and gasped dramatically.

"That good huh?" He laughed.

"The best this side of Paris" she said in the most serious tone she could muster.

"Well. I think we'll be alright then" he smiled mischievously. It was as if they had made a pact of sorts. They would go down together with the knowledge of each other's misery. Elizabeth realised how fortunate she was to have met him. That was a point.

"What were you doing out on the deck by yourself last night?" She asked.

"I came outside to write" Henry said.

"You're a writer?" She blurted out. Henry was so eloquent, she shouldn't have been surprised. He looked bemused. She hoped that hadn't sounded rude.

"I find it easier to put my thoughts on the page when I'm alone" he said.

"What do you write about?"

"Well, that's a big question" he said with a smile. "I study religion and ethics in my free time. At the moment I'm working on a book about the European Wars of Religion". That's a broad topic.

"Isn't that two centuries worth of history?" She asked and Henry beamed. That's going to be a big book.

"My research started out as an overview but I've narrowed in on the conflict between the Roman Catholics and the Huguenots in the late 16th century." Elizabeth had never heard the words 'Roman Catholic' and 'Huguenots' spoken with such enthusiasm before. It was endearing.

"The Edict of Nantes, right?" she asked. She hoped she was right. Henry looked surprised.

"Are you a student of history?" he asked.

"More a student of politics" she said. "I assume you've been living in France then?"

"For the past year. Before that it was Italy".

"So you must have seen some similarities between your research and what's happening now" she asked.

"Are you asking me to predict war?"

"Why not" she said. "Every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to have their say. Might as well ask an expert" she bit her lip impishly but Henry's tone turned more serious.

"Where I was staying was rural but in my time off I would travel to larger cities to visit the churches— for my research. The rising nationalistic rhetoric was hard to miss. The papers are all full of inflammatory talk about superiority and military might. As if France hasn't just suffered a beating on the world's stage" he paused. "But after all… I'm not a 'student of politics'". He broke into a teasing grin and she smacked him. Not hard enough to hurt but he still said "Ow". What about you? What do you think? It took her a moment. She couldn't remember the last time a male over the age of four had asked her opinion on something.

"Continental delusion" she said matter-of-factly. "It's not just isolated to France. Everywhere you look people are beating their chests. Henry nodded in agreement. "Just because the big players haven't lost a war in half a century doesn't mean they're indomitable! Each country seems to think their defences are absolute whilst they completely ignore the capability of their neighbours! So long as they keep the rhetoric up through media manipulation and caricatures they should be just fine" She said with a roll of her eyes.

Yes France had a wall of fortresses but Germany had their growing industrial base. Britain still thought themselves superior with its empire and naval fleet but Germany had been preparing for war for over a decade and had been building ships to match them. They thought they were invincible but Russia had an army of 1.5 million. No matter how hard each country tried and no matter how much their civilians want to believe it, there isn't going to be a king of Europe. She was about to launch into a rant about the hypocrisy of it all but Henry was watching her and she lost her train of thought.

He looked at her like she held the answers to the universe and she felt fit to burst. Henry did nothing to stop her from speaking her mind. He even encouraged her to do so. It felt incredibly liberating and she suddenly felt overcome with emotion. Henry must have noticed it too because his brow furrowed. If he asked her anything right now she would probably lose it.

"And now you're leaving France?" She asked quickly to avoid any questions. He gestured around him theatrically to point out the obvious. She couldn't help but laugh though she rolled her eyes anyway.

"I know that" she said. "I mean are you planning on returning? Have you finished researching?"

"I've not finished yet" he relented. "This trip was spur of the moment".

"How come?" She asked. It seemed odd that a working class man would spend such a large amount of money on the flip of a coin. Especially on a ticket that would take him half a world away from his work and livelihood "Are you visiting family?" She asked.

"I don't know what I'm doing".

"You haven't got any plans?

"Not really."

"You just bought tickets to sail half way across the world with no idea of where you are going once you get there?"

"Yep".

"Am I going to get more than a two word response from you?"

"Probably not" he said. She was joking but Henry was clearly uncomfortable with her line of questioning. The nosy side of her wanted to go full speed ahead and see if she could figure out what was going on but she didn't want to push him away.

"Would you let me read your work?" she asked instead.

"If you're interested".

"I hope I didn't give you the impression that I wasn't" she said.

The corners of Henry's lips twitched and she smiled right alongside him. "Alright."

"I'll hold you to it"

The sound of someone calling her name cut into their conversation. Elizabeth's mood plummeted.

It was Kat Sandoval. With all the hoo-ha that happened after dinner, Elizabeth had forgotten her promise to meet with Kat today. She hadn't been lying when she told Kat she wanted to continue their conversation, but as she watched the woman approach, Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to grab Henry and run.

For the first time in a long time, she was having an engaging conversation with a man who was interested in what she had to say. She wasn't ready for it to end.

"Hi" Kat said when she reached them. She looked at Henry and his shabby attire questioningly.

"This is Henry McCord. He'll be joining us for dinner" Elizabeth explained though it didn't seem to answer Kat's question. She doubted Kat would say anything rude but she would rather not test it.

"Damn" Kat said as she shook his hand. "I'm afraid I'm going to miss it". She spoke as if she were missing out on a spectacle. That was exactly what Elizabeth was hoping to avoid. "I've promised to join Dorothy Gibson for the evening ".

"What a shame" Elizabeth said though she wished she and Henry were joining her. A film star would surely make for better company than the people they were about to dine with.

Henry just looked confused and Elizabeth realised she hadn't introduced them properly. "This is Kat Sandoval. She's the exception to the rule".

"I've been told I'm the exception to many rules. Which one are we talking about now?"

"You're not into all that back-slapping, join the club malarkey… Unless I'm mistaken?" From the rumours Elizabeth had heard, she doubted she was.

"No you were right" Kat smiled at Henry and shook his hand. "I hope you're ready. You're about to enter the lion's den."

"I think I can manage." Henry said. He pulled his hand away.

"I don't doubt that, but these people are very territorial. They respect one thing and that's money. If you don't have that they are going to sniff out anything they can make you feel inferior". Henry was beginning to look uncomfortable. With that pep talk, Elizabeth didn't blame him. She was beginning to feel nervous too.

"Don't worry, Kat and I are both outsiders and we've survived." She patted his back. That was a half-truth but it was the best she could offer him right now.

"Just appeal to their ego. It works every time". Kat said but she was met with two pained expressions. "Speaking of egos" she changed the subject. "I had a very interesting conversation with Lord Baker this morning. Your Times article was mentioned… The Morocco one" Elizabeth guessed that. "He had a lot to say". Kat said, stuffing her hands in her pockets so not to appear too gleeful.

"Nothing good I imagine?"

"You won't be surprised to hear it but he thinks you should keep your nose out." He probably had a lot more to say than that but Elizabeth didn't want to know. It would only make her angry.

"Who is Lord Baker?" Henry asked. "He sounds like the villain in a children's story." Elizabeth laughed aloud before she could stop herself. She had never heard a more accurate description for the bumbling tycoon.

"He invested a great deal of money into the Spanish Rif Mines Company last year" Kat said. "He's been raking it in but he's faced lots of criticism about his profiting from colonial advancement".

"Especially after the Treaty of Fez was signed" Elizabeth said. He'd had his pants in a twist ever since.

"I know The Treaty of Fez granted concession to mine Mount Uixan" Henry said. "Is that what we're talking about?" Elizabeth was taken aback by his display of political knowledge. She chastised herself when she realised how patronising that was.

"That's right" she said. "They want to build a railway to help them do just that. Lord Baker can't handle me questioning the ethics of it all."

"I imagine… If he has such a vested interest." Henry said.

"Wait until he sees the piece I've written for the Daily Herald's first issue. He'll burst a vein." He was unlikely to see it unless someone pointed it out to him. The new paper was rather left-leaning. She just hoped he had a medic on hand if he did.

"When is The Daily Herald publishing?" Kat asked.

"It's going to be published on the 15th. Obviously we'll be out of the country so I won't see it until we return. I've asked my maid to keep a copy for me. I'll just have to take Mr Seed's word that he hasn't pulled the piece".

"So, you're a journalist?" Henry asked. He was looking at her like she was a puzzle he was about to solve. Elizabeth was afraid he had a lot more work to do than that.

"Well, that depends on who you ask" she said. "I often write to papers. It's touch and go whether someone wants to publish me." She had a few regular papers she wrote too but others wouldn't touch her with a barge pole. Upsetting her fair share of establishment men over the years had certainly had an impact on where she could voice her opinions. Other papers just flat out didn't want a woman speaking for them.

"You write about politics?" Henry asked.

He looked like he was genuinely interested and before she could stop herself, she said "I have a regular column in The Financier as well" Kat looked surprised. Elizabeth didn't blame her. She was surprised too. Less about the column, more that she had just revealed its existence. Other than Stephen she hadn't told anyone about it before now. "It's not much of a pot boiler" she laughed nervously. "I publish under a pseudonym so don't tell anyone I told you that!"

"I'll try not to mention it at dinner" Henry said. He was joking but Elizabeth shot him a warning look all the same. It's good to have strong views, but notoriety was never helpful. You could ask Stephen about that. It was because of him she had to be so cloak and dagger.

Elizabeth didn't mind much. It was her little secret. Whenever a man condescended to her about finance or business she got a great deal of satisfaction knowing that it was her words he was reading each week.

"Speaking of dinner" Kat said. "What are you planning on wearing?" the question was directed at Henry who pulled at the open ends of his tattered, corduroy jacket. He probably hadn't given his wardrobe a second thought. "Oh dear" Kat said without restraint. "That's not going to work… No offence."

"None taken" Henry's eyes shone with amusement.

"You come with me. I have a few suits that might fit you". Why did Kat have any men's suits? Did she have a brother or a beau Elizabeth didn't know about? Perhaps there was some truth to the rumour that she liked to cross dress. Maybe she was into Vaudeville? After all, she did remind Elizabeth of Bessie Bonehill. Either way, it was none of Elizabeth's business she was just grateful that Kat was looking out for Henry.

The sound of the bugler blowing his horn rang out across the ship. Henry's head shot up in alarm.

"That's the dressing gong" she laughed.

"You have to be told when to get dressed?" He asked.

"Yep" she patted his arm. "And you best do that before Kat combusts" she laughed. Kat was rocking back and forth on her feet impatiently. Based on her enthusiasm, Elizabeth expected him to be dressed to the nines when she next saw him. "I best go find Nadine. I'll see you later?"

She left him in Kat's capable hands. As she walked away, the apprehension she felt earlier reared its ugly head. She tried to convince herself that dinner would be fine. If it wasn't, she could always fall back on the unlimited supply of wine…

* * *

What can possibly go wrong?

A/N: Liliacmermaid25 on Tumblr posted a prompt which I couldn't not use in this chapter: 'Elizabeth is talking knowledgeably about something, but then she catches sight of Henry looking particularly attractive, and she completely loses her train of thought.'

I hope i did it justice!

Enjoy! Feel free to leave a review! :)


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